04.14.15 HAPPINESS

I was enjoying the comfort of my bed after a great sleep. Finally, it was the weekend. I opened the blinds and the sun shone on my face. It was the warmest sunshine I've felt in months. I felt happy. I felt alive.

Everything's falling into place and I feel like I'm where I need to be. With summer on the horizon, I look forward to finishing the rest of this year with happiness. So far it's been a year for self-care. A year for me. I've had to be selfish in some ways, but when you go through hard times, you need to put yourself first. It's tough, but those who love you will understand. And I'm thankful that they did.

I realized all of this as the sun was shining down on me. It's like the sunlight energized my mind. It brought life to my life-less body. It opened up my heart to gratitude. Gratitude for my health, to be able to have this day, and to experience such a full and enriching life.

To me, happiness is a state of mind. It can be hard to get there, but when you finally make it, try not to let go. And be grateful always.

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As I’ve mentioned before, a group of bloggers have gotten together to start a little ONLINE BLOGGING GROUP to share advice, get feedback, and support each other. We’ve decided once a month to all write a post on the same topic. Below you’ll find links to all of the wonderful ladies in the group so that you can read about what happiness means to them, too. I highly encourage you to check them out- you might find some new favorite blogs! 

Sarah Hartley 

Slice of Heaven 

It's Me, Kelly 

Gabrielle Bogan 

Glamorous Hustle 

Chaotic & Collected 

Kimberrleigh 

Deanna R Jordan 

More Than Love 

Unabashedly Me

03.27.15 FIVE THINGS THAT I AM GRATEFUL FOR

Source: Instagram @Stephynow

During my yoga class this morning, just as we were settling into shavasana, the instructor asked us to focus on what we are grateful for. That made me smile. Honestly, when was the last time you consciously thought about what you were grateful for in your life? It's been an embarrassingly long time.

What are five things that I am grateful for today?

ONE: TODAY.
I am here, present, and happy. I am grateful that I get to experience the day today. What makes it better? That it's a day off from the stresses of a workplace, and that I get to enjoy what I love doing which is yoga, cooking and baking. I am grateful for today.

TWO: THE JOB I JUST QUIT. 
When I think about what my job gave me, I realize it gave me experiences but also very important relationships. I met Mike, made a great work-family, and made a few friends. Some of whom I hope will continue to keep in touch as I pursue this new adventure. I am grateful to have met such wonderful people, and to have met the best man in the world.  I posted a #tbt on my Instagram about this yesterday.

THREE: MY HEALTH.
I mean more than just eating well. I mean taking care of myself emotionally and physically. I feel the best I've felt in months. I'm consciously eating well, practicing yoga, working out, and spending time doing things I love. I am truly happy. For that, I am grateful.

FOUR: GOOD FOOD.
Over the past few months, I've become quite the foodie. Some nights, Mike just wants to get something prepared and stick it in the oven. I never let him - I love making food, experiencing it, feeling proud about it. You can't do that when you buy a pre-made meal. I am grateful to have access to good, quality food, and to have the time to make it for us.

FIVE: MIKE.
Did I save the best for last? Maybe... Mike is my rock. He's there for me anytime I need it. I love him to death and am so lucky to have him in my life. Honestly, I could count a million and one reasons. I won't name them all because you'd be reading this post forever, but I'm grateful that he let me into his life the same way that I let him into mine.

What are you grateful for today?

03.13.15 I QUIT MY JOB.

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This week I quit my job.

I handed in my two weeks notice, blindsiding my colleagues and bosses.  "Do you even know how far you can go here?" "You are so close to a promotion, why?" "Do you even know what you're giving up?" These are just a few of the questions that I've been fending off and trying to answer during this whirlwind of a week.

The truth is, I'm taking a hard look at my life. What do I want? Where do I want to be? And more importantly, what will make me happy? These are all such difficult questions to answer for someone with little experience in life, but I'm trying to do the best I can.

The job I was in was challenging, motivating and fast-paced. It fit me perfectly... Until it became a little too demanding. It's a cyclical business, and at one point during the heavy season, I didn't feel well, was getting headaches, and was getting dizzy. During this time, I was working 12+ hour days, running at 110% for months on end, and when I was finally home, I was too tired to do anything. When it all stopped about a month later, I realized it was stress. My body was doing a pretty darn good job telling me I needed to step back.

I realized I needed to make a change. I needed better work-life balance. I needed something that I could really enjoy. I was looking for jobs, but only applying to what I was truly interested in. Going back to my marketing roots, I accepted a position earlier this week. It's a different career path with its own challenges, but with a less demanding schedule.

Now the anxiety is starting to set in. What if I hate this job? What if I'm not challenged enough? The pace is very different, what if I can't get used to it? The company is going through challenges, so I'm giving up a very secure job for something much riskier- am I crazy?

Every life decision comes with its challenges. Changing jobs is difficult - much more difficult than I anticipated. I've gone through all the emotions: fear, sadness, excitement... I'm terrified that I'm making a huge mistake, but I have to remember to keep it in perspective: I'm not going to die, it will be a learning experience, and above all, I did this for a reason. I can't ever forget the reason why.

Have you ever quit a job before? Did you find it difficult?

02.17.15 UNINSPIRED

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Lately I've felt uninspired.

Not sure what it is, but between the S.A.D. and trying to figure out some key parts in my life, I feel like I'm missing something to be passionate about.

What do I want to do for the rest of my life? What sorts of projects do I want to devote my time to? What can I jump head-first into?

These are the kinds of questions that run through my mind over and over and over again. I'm not sure where to go or where to look. The only person with the answers is me, but I haven't found them yet.

Over the past couple of years I have discovered my love for new things, like cooking, yoga and learning about physical and mental health. I find that I don't give myself enough time to do these things I love, and when I get to do it, I feel rushed.

Life is busy. Working all day means getting home at 6, only to be in bed 4 hours later. Don't get me wrong, I'm grateful for a job, but life lately seems off balance. The hours fly by and I don't even know how. The weekends come and go, and I don't even remember what I did with myself.

All I know is that I won't stop searching until I find it. That balance - that "it". Whatever it may be.

On a somewhat related note, I'm glad to be blogging again. Even if no one else reads my nonsense, at least I have an outlet where I can explore my thoughts, put them into writing, and make sense of them. I now realize how much I missed this...