When asked "what's your biggest fear?", different things run through my head. From the cliche "being alone forever" to the silly ones like "uncooked meat", I pondered how I would approach answering this question. In the end, I decided it was best if I answered truthfully. Honestly. The whole point of this blog this is to let you see into my life. Why should I sugar-coat this?
Being trapped. That's my biggest fear.
I never ever want to feel like I'm trapped in the life I'm living. Relationships, jobs, cities, situations... I am terrified of the potential of being trapped somewhere I hate, doing something I don't like, with people I dislike. And not being able to get out.
Like any good psychology book would tell you, part of this can be attributed to my childhood. It would make sense. But it didn't really occur to me until I spent 5 and a half years in a relationship that had me feeling completely helpless, trapped and unable to leave. I felt like I had to stick around because of obligation, because I owed them that, because it would be worse if I left.
The truth is, I wasn't thinking about my own happiness. I was trapped.
I'm terrified of going through this again. That I will wake up one day and realize I made mistakes in life that I can't get out of. What will I do then? I don't want to be unhappy for the rest of my life.
All I can do is live in the moment, be with people I love, and make sure I am doing things I enjoy doing. Then I won't ever be able to regret my decisions in life. If I ever feel legitimately trapped, I need to have the courage to recognize it, and fix it. I need to be in tune with me.
And that, my friends, is my biggest fear. What's yours?
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A group of bloggers have gotten together to start a little online blogging group to share advice, get feedback, and support each other. We've decided once a month to all write a post on the same topic. Below my post you'll find links to all of the wonderful ladies in the group so that you can read about their biggest fears, too. I highly encourage you to check them out- you might find some new favorite blogs!
Sarah Hartley ** Gabrielle Bogan ** Slice of Heaven ** Chaotic and Collected ** Sara Montana Says ** Unabashedly Me
I have the same fear- I hate feeling trapped, both physically and emotionally. It's actually the reason I've been hesitant to buy a home because then I'd feel trapped in one city. And honestly, sometimes I do with the house now. I hate that we can't just decide to pick up and move if we want. But being trapped in a relationship isn't something I'm experienced- I'm glad you were able to get out of the situation. Living in the moment is the best remedy for feeling trapped.
ReplyDeleteOh gosh, I know exactly what you mean! I had this trapped feeling at least one point in my life and it was the most overwhelming feeling ever. Kind of like feeling crushed at the same time. I was in a longer relationship and felt like I had to stick around even though I wasn't happy. But eventually I realized that I was nothing but miserable and had to leave.
ReplyDeleteDear Kelly Girl! I am so proud of you for escaping your entrapment.... I can definitely understand why this is your greatest fear, and I am so happy you are in a healthy and happy mindset and relationship now. I think we all feel trapped by some aspects of our lives, but we just need to keep pushing through to the other side. You are brave and courageous for leaving something that was not right!
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