03.27.15 FIVE THINGS THAT I AM GRATEFUL FOR

Source: Instagram @Stephynow

During my yoga class this morning, just as we were settling into shavasana, the instructor asked us to focus on what we are grateful for. That made me smile. Honestly, when was the last time you consciously thought about what you were grateful for in your life? It's been an embarrassingly long time.

What are five things that I am grateful for today?

ONE: TODAY.
I am here, present, and happy. I am grateful that I get to experience the day today. What makes it better? That it's a day off from the stresses of a workplace, and that I get to enjoy what I love doing which is yoga, cooking and baking. I am grateful for today.

TWO: THE JOB I JUST QUIT. 
When I think about what my job gave me, I realize it gave me experiences but also very important relationships. I met Mike, made a great work-family, and made a few friends. Some of whom I hope will continue to keep in touch as I pursue this new adventure. I am grateful to have met such wonderful people, and to have met the best man in the world.  I posted a #tbt on my Instagram about this yesterday.

THREE: MY HEALTH.
I mean more than just eating well. I mean taking care of myself emotionally and physically. I feel the best I've felt in months. I'm consciously eating well, practicing yoga, working out, and spending time doing things I love. I am truly happy. For that, I am grateful.

FOUR: GOOD FOOD.
Over the past few months, I've become quite the foodie. Some nights, Mike just wants to get something prepared and stick it in the oven. I never let him - I love making food, experiencing it, feeling proud about it. You can't do that when you buy a pre-made meal. I am grateful to have access to good, quality food, and to have the time to make it for us.

FIVE: MIKE.
Did I save the best for last? Maybe... Mike is my rock. He's there for me anytime I need it. I love him to death and am so lucky to have him in my life. Honestly, I could count a million and one reasons. I won't name them all because you'd be reading this post forever, but I'm grateful that he let me into his life the same way that I let him into mine.

What are you grateful for today?

03.24.15 THE RIPPED JEAN.

Last weekend I went to the mall with 1 goal: to find more work clothing for the new job.

But in the back of my mind, I knew what I really wanted. A great pair of slightly distressed blue jeans. I didn't know how realistic this would be - It's been difficult to find a great pair of jeans recently. A pair that fits like a glove, stretches but doesn't "bag" out, is the perfect colour... my expectations are high.

Well I found them. At Zara! I've never been able to find a pair of pants at Zara that fit properly, but when I pulled these on, I knew they were the ones. And to top it off, they were only $50, which is quite reasonable for a good pair of denim.

Now, about that work clothing I meant to get...

03.13.15 I QUIT MY JOB.

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This week I quit my job.

I handed in my two weeks notice, blindsiding my colleagues and bosses.  "Do you even know how far you can go here?" "You are so close to a promotion, why?" "Do you even know what you're giving up?" These are just a few of the questions that I've been fending off and trying to answer during this whirlwind of a week.

The truth is, I'm taking a hard look at my life. What do I want? Where do I want to be? And more importantly, what will make me happy? These are all such difficult questions to answer for someone with little experience in life, but I'm trying to do the best I can.

The job I was in was challenging, motivating and fast-paced. It fit me perfectly... Until it became a little too demanding. It's a cyclical business, and at one point during the heavy season, I didn't feel well, was getting headaches, and was getting dizzy. During this time, I was working 12+ hour days, running at 110% for months on end, and when I was finally home, I was too tired to do anything. When it all stopped about a month later, I realized it was stress. My body was doing a pretty darn good job telling me I needed to step back.

I realized I needed to make a change. I needed better work-life balance. I needed something that I could really enjoy. I was looking for jobs, but only applying to what I was truly interested in. Going back to my marketing roots, I accepted a position earlier this week. It's a different career path with its own challenges, but with a less demanding schedule.

Now the anxiety is starting to set in. What if I hate this job? What if I'm not challenged enough? The pace is very different, what if I can't get used to it? The company is going through challenges, so I'm giving up a very secure job for something much riskier- am I crazy?

Every life decision comes with its challenges. Changing jobs is difficult - much more difficult than I anticipated. I've gone through all the emotions: fear, sadness, excitement... I'm terrified that I'm making a huge mistake, but I have to remember to keep it in perspective: I'm not going to die, it will be a learning experience, and above all, I did this for a reason. I can't ever forget the reason why.

Have you ever quit a job before? Did you find it difficult?

03.10.15 TRAPPED.

When asked "what's your biggest fear?", different things run through my head. From the cliche "being alone forever" to the silly ones like "uncooked meat", I pondered how I would approach answering this question. In the end, I decided it was best if I answered truthfully. Honestly. The whole point of this blog this is to let you see into my life. Why should I sugar-coat this?

Being trapped. That's my biggest fear.

I never ever want to feel like I'm trapped in the life I'm living. Relationships, jobs, cities, situations... I am terrified of the potential of being trapped somewhere I hate, doing something I don't like, with people I dislike. And not being able to get out.

Like any good psychology book would tell you, part of this can be attributed to my childhood. It would make sense. But it didn't really occur to me until I spent 5 and a half years in a relationship that had me feeling completely helpless, trapped and unable to leave. I felt like I had to stick around because of obligation, because I owed them that, because it would be worse if I left.

The truth is, I wasn't thinking about my own happiness. I was trapped.

I'm terrified of going through this again. That I will wake up one day and realize I made mistakes in life that I can't get out of. What will I do then? I don't want to be unhappy for the rest of my life.

All I can do is live in the moment, be with people I love, and make sure I am doing things I enjoy doing. Then I won't ever be able to regret my decisions in life. If I ever feel legitimately trapped,  I need to have the courage to recognize it, and fix it. I need to be in tune with me.

And that, my friends, is my biggest fear. What's yours?

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A group of bloggers have gotten together to start a little online blogging group to share advice, get feedback, and support each other. We've decided once a month to all write a post on the same topic. Below my post you'll find links to all of the wonderful ladies in the group so that you can read about their biggest fears, too. I highly encourage you to check them out- you might find some new favorite blogs!

Sarah Hartley ** Gabrielle Bogan ** Slice of Heaven ** Chaotic and Collected ** Sara Montana Says ** Unabashedly Me

03.08.15 BREAKFAST PROFESSIONALS

For the first several months of our relationship, Mike and I went to Broadways Bar & Grill in Barrhaven every.single.weekend. The home-fries called us. The plates were so full, only twice did I devour the entire meal. The service was super quick, and a few times we were in and out in under a half hour.

But over time, we longed for something different. A change of pace. The homefries got a little too greasy. The crowd became a little too familiar. Everything was just a bit too predictable.

So we started exploring other options. We've made it our mission to try out as many breakfast places as we can, and come up with a list of favourites. We always get the same thing - "the special" - which is usually a variation of 2 eggs, meat (bacon, sausage or ham - I give mine to Mike), homefries and toast. The classic breakfast. Now, who does it best?

We are early on in this process, but I love trying new places, and we're quickly becoming experts in what defines a "good breakfast place".

So far, Mike's favourite is the Royal Oak. He likes the home-fries - they're not greasy and just the right amount of spice. The eggs are also "real" (see our experience below). My favourite is still Broadway, but the location on Riverside is better. It's a little less greasy and you're less likely to run into the "I'm-so-hungover-I-can't-change-out-of-sweats-or-bother-to-shower-before-breakfast" crowd.

Places we will not return to? Heart and Crown. Their eggs were definitely out of a box. They were rubber and not appetizing at all. The home-fries were mediocre. And it was expensive!! Why return? Maybe for an evening beer and to watch the game. That is their specialty anyway.

This week we went to Hard Stone's in Manotick. It was OK. You don't get much food, and it wasn't anything special. We may return one day, but not anytime soon.

Do you enjoy going for breakfast? Are you a "regular" anywhere?

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You can follow my adventures on Instagram here: @itsmekelly!